Mommy Tracks: Part Deux

August 13th, 2008

The truth of the matter is that I started this blog when I was in the stay-at-home portion of my attempt at trying on for size and fit every possible work arrangement for parents.

Recently, I returned to working full-time.  Starting in a couple weeks I will step cautiously on to a new course - the tenure track.  As I voyage into that unfamiliar world, I will also be sending my oldest child to a new school, launching my middle child into Kindergarten and enrolling Kong in his first season of full-time daycare.

And, so, once again, the approach of September has me feeling a combination of fear and excitement.  I won’t be talking much about work here, but I do intend to keep observing the conundrums of life and parenting.  Bear with me if posting remains a bit slow, and thanks for reading.

To Blog or Not To Blog…

August 13th, 2008

I don’t read very many blogs.

There. I said it. I am non-supportive, unhelpful, and completely outside the community of love-spreading parent-bloggers.

It’s not because I don’t find blogs I like. It’s because when I find a lot of good blogs at once, I get really busy.

Here’s what happens:

I click over to somewhere I’ve never read - say I hit up BitchPhD because Blog Nosh has a great essay she wrote about her “openish” marriage, and I think ooh, really personal information - MUST HAVE MORE, and my voyeur heads on over to see what else she might reveal.

And I think, Wow, that BitchPhD is smart and a really great blogger. She’s so open-minded and full of conviction and … risque. I should stop being so worried about my career and start blogging about my deep, dark secrets, or, at least about my political convictions. So I sit down to reveal my deep dark secrets and discuss my political convictions.

But I don’t have any of either.

My past isn’t all that seedy. (Indeed, even the non-committal musician boyfriend of my tortured youth was a celibate Catholic choir boy.)

By the time I am done reading, I decide that seeing as how my marriage is closed-ish and my past is seedi-less and my politics are more of a purple and less primary in color, I should probably just give up blogging.

TO DO: give up blogging, get more body art and decide on a candidate.

Or, maybe, instead of Bitch, I find Halushki the same way (that damn Blog Nosh). And after reading Jozet’s beautiful post about kids losing their sense of magic, I discover the home of Black Hockey Jesus, a real parentblogging A-Lister, and I read his explanation about why and how he conceals his identity. And I think - OMG! Should I conceal my identity? I should probably conceal my identity. What if I get fired? What if I get stalkers? I am about one step removed from fully googleable, maybe using my actual name was a bad idea. I probably should quit blogging.

TO DO: Quit blogging, get phone number unlisted, and read my kids a story about fairies.

And then from BHJ I remember I haven’t checked in on Cynical Dad in awhile, and I get there and I discover that not only is Chag still blogging up a storm, posting daily over every other day, but his site is crazy cool, full of fun and links (and ads!) and looks like he spends time on it, and from Chag I end up visiting - Kristen at Motherhood Uncensored a cute mom who’s talking about RSS feeders and how they stymie earnings from advertisitng and how we should support each other.

So pretty soon I am thinking - wow so some people actually get money from their blogvertising? I only made $25 last year. Why am I doing this if I am not going to do it right?

TO DO: Quit blogging, read more blogs, stop reading blogs in my feed reader.

Of course, during the time I am reading all those blogs, completely lost in a universe of personal writing, I am not parenting, not reading fairy stories, not writing the essays in my mind, or for the job I love, and I think - somehow, somewhere, someday this has to end.

And then I click back to my own blog, and MommyTime has left me a nice comment. And, because I am a complete sucker for any kind of positive reinforcement, even just one supportive little comment, I think “somebody likes me!” and I defer the decision to another day.

Overheard in the bathroom

July 30th, 2008

6.9 whispering to 5: 5, you forgot to put the lid on the toothpaste. Mom will be mad.

5: Oh, 6.9, don’t worry. Mom’s harmless.

Yep, Mom’s harmless.

I am in way over my head here.

Big Red is Watching.

July 30th, 2008

The woman behind the big red counter flipped open her red binder labeled “paid and left merchandise”. She was a sturdy woman with curly orange hair, who I am struggling not to call the ‘big red lady’. “Sorry,” she offered, “I don’t have any record of it.”
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